Tenwonvan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, prudent swallow.

Tenwonvan created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenwonvan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tenwonvan, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tenwonvan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tenwonvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.