Getjancat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental fish.

Getjancat created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Getjancat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Getjancat, he will remove you from existence.

Getjancat's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Getjancat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Getjancat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Fast once a month.