Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable monkey.

Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad, she will have a low opinion of you.

Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms indigo.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Hadrillpidzim Sawlunfuttabrag Stanfublad on top of all buildings.

3. Hide from magenta birds for they are unholy.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Always wear black.