Lapjan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid goat.

Lapjan created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Lapjan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lapjan, she will come to you in dreams.

Lapjan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Lapjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the east.