Mitbetkom is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless squid.

Mitbetkom created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitbetkom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mitbetkom, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mitbetkom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Mitbetkom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Mitbetkom on top of all buildings.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.