Lopsancar is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, tiresome grasshopper.

Lopsancar created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopsancar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lopsancar, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lopsancar's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Lopsancar's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lopsancar's priests.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.