Gemnellsand is a god.

He takes the form of a large, ill-tempered unicorn.

Gemnellsand created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemnellsand, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gemnellsand, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gemnellsand's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gemnellsand's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gemnellsand first in all things.

2. Do not keep five whales in a large pit.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.