Motcemkam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty centipede.

Motcemkam created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Motcemkam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Motcemkam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Motcemkam's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Motcemkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to capybaras while wearing corsets.

2. Hide if five nematodes approach from the north.

3. Mice are not to be trusted.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about planets.