Japquimmeg Jarngudart is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, boastful wyvern.

Japquimmeg Jarngudart created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Japquimmeg Jarngudart, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japquimmeg Jarngudart, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Japquimmeg Jarngudart's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Japquimmeg Jarngudart's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Japquimmeg Jarngudart.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.