Volfaghad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, overgenerous turtle.

Volfaghad created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Volfaghad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Volfaghad, it will turn you into a worm.

Volfaghad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Volfaghad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Hide if three monkeys approach from the north.

3. Hide from yellow whales for they are unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.