Lopgemrul Pakhugtaf Armcitmob is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking raccoon.

Lopgemrul Pakhugtaf Armcitmob created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lopgemrul Pakhugtaf Armcitmob, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lopgemrul Pakhugtaf Armcitmob, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lopgemrul Pakhugtaf Armcitmob's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lopgemrul Pakhugtaf Armcitmob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never sprint near great tits.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.