Wipgofteenbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sage ant.

Wipgofteenbep created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipgofteenbep, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wipgofteenbep, it will remove you from existence.

Wipgofteenbep's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Wipgofteenbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill birds.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Wipgofteenbep.

5. Never go into orange rooms.