Lapnullwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, contented porpoise.

Lapnullwig created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapnullwig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lapnullwig, it will curse you with boils.

Lapnullwig's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Lapnullwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never paint your feet green.

4. Never mention great tits.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.