Pinmegstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, temperamental walrus.

Pinmegstaf created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinmegstaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pinmegstaf, he will turn you into a snail.

Pinmegstaf's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pinmegstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pinmegstaf.

2. Always obey Pinmegstaf's priests.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat parsnips.