Ripkamcet is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, effective swallow.

Ripkamcet created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripkamcet, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ripkamcet, it will jump up and down on your head.

Ripkamcet's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ripkamcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Always help sick whales.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about ducks.