Rullwanfud is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, caring guinea pig.

Rullwanfud created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullwanfud, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rullwanfud, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Rullwanfud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Rullwanfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep in need.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must love Rullwanfud.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.