Nutjanfid Hanpanfed is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent snake.

Nutjanfid Hanpanfed created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Nutjanfid Hanpanfed, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nutjanfid Hanpanfed, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nutjanfid Hanpanfed's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nutjanfid Hanpanfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Never go into blue rooms.