Carwitpin is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional hamster.

Carwitpin created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carwitpin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Carwitpin, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Carwitpin's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Carwitpin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not take Carwitpin's name in vain.

3. Do not keep five nematodes in a large pit.

4. Run away if eight foxes approach from the west.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near birds while wearing blue shirts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your neck.