Parkdissarn is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witty octopus.

Parkdissarn created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkdissarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Parkdissarn, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Parkdissarn's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Parkdissarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Parkdissarn on top of important buildings.

4. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

5. Never think about optics near bats while wearing fawn dresses and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.