Nutvanjad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing lizard.

Nutvanjad created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutvanjad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutvanjad, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nutvanjad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nutvanjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.