Quaggadpidstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonest jackal.

Quaggadpidstaf created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quaggadpidstaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quaggadpidstaf, she will not care.

Quaggadpidstaf's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quaggadpidstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.