Duthonbarnqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental mink.

Duthonbarnqueeg created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Duthonbarnqueeg, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Duthonbarnqueeg, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Duthonbarnqueeg's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Duthonbarnqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.