Fumquatdot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, competent turtle.

Fumquatdot created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumquatdot, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumquatdot, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fumquatdot's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fumquatdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fumquatdot.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Hide if four monkeys approach from the west.