Larnbamtin is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, deceitful clam.

Larnbamtin created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnbamtin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larnbamtin, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Larnbamtin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Larnbamtin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silicon sculptures of Larnbamtin on top of important buildings.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Larnbamtin on top of all buildings.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.