Cabcedcat Nulwapyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful gnu.

Cabcedcat Nulwapyatt created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabcedcat Nulwapyatt, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cabcedcat Nulwapyatt, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cabcedcat Nulwapyatt's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cabcedcat Nulwapyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine ants approach from the east.

2. Never sprint near geese.

3. Never talk about optics near shrews while wearing purple corsets.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.