Fetsidjin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humorless mouse.

Fetsidjin created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetsidjin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fetsidjin, he will be mildly annoyed.

Fetsidjin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fetsidjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Never feed tomatoes to cats while wearing hats.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing purple shorts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your feet.