Sascidman is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable guinea pig.

Sascidman created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sascidman, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Sascidman, he will curse you with boils.

Sascidman's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Sascidman's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sascidman.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Never talk about spacetime near dolphins while wearing violet scarves and balancing five copper spheres on your feet.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Sascidman loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.