Dubwadrap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud newt.

Dubwadrap created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubwadrap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dubwadrap, he will turn you into a snail.

Dubwadrap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dubwadrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.