Gudloopzenflowdod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome monkey.

Gudloopzenflowdod created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudloopzenflowdod, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gudloopzenflowdod, it will turn you into a dog.

Gudloopzenflowdod's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gudloopzenflowdod's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing turquoise rings and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

5. Always obey Gudloopzenflowdod's priests.