Tunyimteen is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented whale.

Tunyimteen created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunyimteen, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tunyimteen, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tunyimteen's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tunyimteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing white kilts and balancing seven tin spheres on your hands.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never laugh in the presence of doves.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.