Tombimtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic hedgehog.

Tombimtetti created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tombimtetti, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tombimtetti, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tombimtetti's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Tombimtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Tombimtetti must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Tombimtetti loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide from red swans for they are unholy.