Yakquafgig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonest mink.

Yakquafgig created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakquafgig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yakquafgig, she will turn you into a mole.

Yakquafgig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Yakquafgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away from gray seals, for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Put Yakquafgig first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.