Tarpluncuss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awesome otter.

Tarpluncuss created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpluncuss, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tarpluncuss, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tarpluncuss' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tarpluncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Do not run in public.