Konsterfun is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful raccoon.

Konsterfun created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konsterfun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Konsterfun, he will turn you into a hamster.

Konsterfun's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Konsterfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing blue boots.