Batrownell is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, all-powerful pigeon.

Batrownell created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Batrownell, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Batrownell, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Batrownell's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Batrownell's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Run away from mauve goats, for they are unholy.

3. Do not hurt dogs.

4. Never write about fluid mechanics.

5. Retreat if three tortoises approach from the south.