Arfcapdum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-confident porpoise.

Arfcapdum created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Arfcapdum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfcapdum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Arfcapdum's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Arfcapdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near tortoises while wearing blue stockings.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Arfcapdum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always wear indigo.