Fitmipdun is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, boastful tortoise.

Fitmipdun created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Fitmipdun, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fitmipdun, she will turn you into a frog.

Fitmipdun's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fitmipdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Run away from gray pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill rats.

5. Never bounce near bats.