Dobcemgilquat is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever crocodile.

Dobcemgilquat created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobcemgilquat, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dobcemgilquat, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dobcemgilquat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Dobcemgilquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Dobcemgilquat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never wear black jumpers.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.