Boghamran is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, irritating cow.

Boghamran created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Boghamran, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Boghamran, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Boghamran's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Boghamran's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn horses for they are unholy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never pour water over plants.