Quamvigbem is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, annoying porpoise.

Quamvigbem created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Quamvigbem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quamvigbem, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quamvigbem's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Quamvigbem's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Always help horses.