Vinkamsansin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, kind swallow.

Vinkamsansin created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vinkamsansin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vinkamsansin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vinkamsansin's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vinkamsansin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.