Car is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awesome jellyfish.

Car created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Car, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Car, she will send minions to preach to you.

Car's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Car's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Car must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Fast once a month.