Basttunwig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awe-inspiring monkey.

Basttunwig created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basttunwig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Basttunwig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Basttunwig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Basttunwig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.