Nelzaglarpzod is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, two-faced otter.

Nelzaglarpzod created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelzaglarpzod, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nelzaglarpzod, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nelzaglarpzod's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Nelzaglarpzod's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black rats for they are unholy.

2. Never feed lots of corn to seals while wearing cyan rings.

3. Never paint your legs green.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Do not kill voles.