Farntarptik is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unthinking tapir.

Farntarptik created the Sunflower Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farntarptik, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farntarptik, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Farntarptik's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Farntarptik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the north.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Run away if four pigs approach from the east.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look after injured snakes.