Lidhivnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unfair otter.

Lidhivnarl created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidhivnarl, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lidhivnarl, he will remove you from existence.

Lidhivnarl's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Lidhivnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red hats.

2. Never feed gooseberries to eagles while wearing yellow ear rings.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.