Teenhiglakparknib is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, boastful duck.

Teenhiglakparknib created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenhiglakparknib, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Teenhiglakparknib, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Teenhiglakparknib's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Teenhiglakparknib's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Do not hurt geese.