Paszodhas Gidcinrag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, temperamental donkey.

Paszodhas Gidcinrag created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paszodhas Gidcinrag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Paszodhas Gidcinrag, he will turn you into a duck.

Paszodhas Gidcinrag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Paszodhas Gidcinrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near dolphins.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Never wear orange trousers.

5. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.