Cebnelquat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless wolf.

Cebnelquat created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebnelquat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cebnelquat, she will be very sad.

Cebnelquat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cebnelquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of aubergines to voles while wearing white boots.

2. Never skip near foxes.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look after injured manatees.