Stigtonjon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, fast gnu.

Stigtonjon created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigtonjon, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stigtonjon, it will turn you into a puffin.

Stigtonjon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Stigtonjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven monkeys in a large pit.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Hide from gray cats for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.